No matter what, you always have to understand that people are truly complex. They claim to be simplistic, unwavering in their vaules, and honest to the core. But by sheer fact, we know that this just isn’t true. People lie. People decieve. People hate. People love to love. People are beautiful. I wish the last two were more common than the previous three.
I feel as though you have punched me in the gut, darling. Yet another time that I have depended on you, and you have let me down. I try, oh how I try, to make this work. I’m finding though, that maybe I’m wrong to do so. I wish I could let you go, have you fly out of my mind and my soul. Sadly though, I simply cannot. Disgustingly, I’m in love with you. For that I’m truly ashamed of, mostly in part to the fact that I let it go this far.
Your beauty, my love, frightens me so. For I find myself at a loss of words when I peer into your eyes. My soul, my being, becomes exposed when you return my gaze. The mere feeling of nakedness, of raw passion, verberates through me. Always, oh always, leaving me standing there shocked.
It’s amazing how I simply cannot ignore you. Images of us run through my mind, my heart races just at the mere thought of you, my breath catches in this dramatic way when you smile. I have to wonder though, do you react in kind when thinking of me? I’m baffled at how interdependent I have become on you. In truth, my love, it sickens me, for I’m not the proudly independent woman I thought I was.
It breaks my heart, my dear, to tell you that your efforts have seemingly gone to waste. Of all your givings to the world, you recieve so little back in return. However I ask of you to fear not, for I have seen your generosity and find fantastic beauty in it. My fears keep me from telling you so, and how I wish, oh how I wish, they wouldn’t hold me back in such a way.
In my opinion, people are fickle things. Full of judgement, selfishness, and insensitivity. You find few among them, who shine ever so brightly. With love, compassion, and honesty running through their veins. Unfortunately, they are far and few inbetween. Often, we like to believe that everyone we encounter is such a person, but the ugly truth is, they aren’t and probably never will be.
There’s hardly a time when people will tell you their true feelings, and how I wish they would, without the fear of judgement evident in their eyes. That’s too much to ask for, isn’t it though? People, similarly to life, are rarely what we expect.